Brrrr! It’s getting cold outside, so we invited advice columnist James Deegler of HowDoIDoThat.com to share some great tips on how to deal with Old Man Winter! Take it away, James!
Thanks, John! Thanks, Nick! I’ve got some foolproof ways to say “Hey, winter, I’m not afraid of you!” Let’s take a look at them:
HOW TO BUILD A SNOWMAN
- Make a large ball of snow.
- Make a medium ball of snow.
- Make a small ball of snow.
- Stack the medium ball onto the large ball, then the small on top of the medium.
- Remove two buttons from an old jacket for the eyes. I recommend slicing them off with a razor blade.
- Add a carrot for the nose.
- Take a picture so you can cherish the memory forever.
HOW TO MAKE HOT CHOCOLATE
- Drive to the grocery store.
- Enter the grocery store.
- Collect hot chocolate packets and milk. Anything but skim.
- Exchange money for milk and hot chocolate packets.
- Collect any change made available to you.
- Drive home.
- Using a microwave, heat milk in a large mug.
- Empty chocolate packet into hot milk.
- Drop a razor blade in.
HOW TO MAKE A SNOWBALL
- Wait for a snowstorm.
- Go outside.
- Gather snow in your hands. It’s important to use both hands.
- Pack the snow tightly into a spherical shape.
- Stick a razor blade into the center of the snowball.
- Throw the snowball at someone nearby.
HOW TO SHOVEL
- Wait for a local schoolboy to come by your home and offer to shovel.
- Agree to whatever fee he charges.
- Relax and drink an alcoholic beverage while he works.
- When he finishes, invite him inside to warm up.
- Offer him a hot chocolate.
HOW TO SKI
- Find a hill covered with snow.
- Attach the largest razor blades you can find to your feet.
- Ski down the hill.
HOW TO BUILD A FIRE
- Purchase gasoline.
- Purchase matches.
- Combine them.
- Razor blades.
HOW TO PROPERLY SALT YOUR DRIVEWAY
- Buy as many razor blades as you can afford.
- Cover your driveway with them.
- You’re done.
HOW TO CUT DOWN YOUR OWN CHRISTMAS TREE
- Razor blades.
James Deegler is the advice columnist at HowDoIDoThat.com. In his spare time, he runs the razor blade boutique A Cut Above at 4th and Sansom in Philadelphia.