Hello. My name is John. Please consume my content.
My content is available on a number of different platforms. It is platform-agnostic content. My content is available on the PlayStation 3, the XBox One, iPad, Surface 2 RT, iPhone, Android, your old Palm Treo, Apple TV, Roku, Windows XP, kitchen counters, local zines, filing cabinets, Medium, alt-weeklies and fundraising brochures. There are content providers who have prevented me from naming them in this list until their content providing platform is available for purchase, but I assure you, my content is there as well. (This includes tomorrow’s newspaper.)
In this content-rich media environment in which we now live, I know consumers have tough decisions to make about what content they consume. I assure you that my content is rich, but not too creamy; light, but not airy; absorbent, but not afraid to take a stance. My content is eminently consumable: admirers say it demands to be consumed, while critics confess that they can’t help but consume it.
I am now ready — nay, thrilled — to announce that my content is available on several additional platforms, thanks to recent cross-platform deals struck by my content and its global media partners. My content is now available on Sonos, Fitbit, pajama bottoms, Flipboard, Google+, the grapevine, Facebook, Instapaper, Pocket, Readability, your local Chinese takeout menu and, of course, Tumblr.
My content is ready, willing and able. It is also available in whatever format you desire: EPUB, MOBI, PDF, MP3, MP4, M4V, DOC, DOCX, TXT, RTF, EXE, DMG, LaserDisc, CD, Blu-Ray, DVD, copy paper, loose leaf paper, and daydreams. My content will be retina-ready by Q3 2014.
If you have any questions about my content, please contact it before leaving a rating. Thanks for consuming my content. Remember that you can follow my content on Twitter @_mycontent.