Grand Theft Mojito

In the third installment of our debut video series Video Game Cocktails, John Carroll whips up a Grand Theft Mojito. You’ll give it 5 stars.

If you like this video, you should read the original article.

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John & Nick Strip #7

Just like Carroll ünd Klinger, Bitstrips are at the cutting-edge of contemporary comedy. So join us, fellow Bitstrippers, as we grind away at our new weekly comic. Remember to check back every Thursday for more zany adventures!

John & Nick Strip #6

Just like Carroll ünd Klinger, Bitstrips are at the cutting-edge of contemporary comedy. So join us, fellow Bitstrippers, as we grind away at our new weekly comic. Remember to check back every Thursday for more zany adventures!

John & Nick Strip #5

Just like Carroll ünd Klinger, Bitstrips are at the cutting-edge of contemporary comedy. So join us, fellow Bitstrippers, as we grind away at our new weekly comic. Remember to check back every Thursday for more zany adventures!

My Pending Freelance Pitches

Being a freelance writer is hard work. You’re required to juggle dozens of projects at a time. I thought I’d peel back the curtain a bit and let you see my current works in progress:

John2 The New York Times
— TRAVELOGUE: send me to Thailand with $5,000 and I’ll write about how I spent it
— what I found in my father’s attic after he died (timing TBD)
— an article that’s entirely made up of corrections*

The New Yorker
— Talk of the Town piece about this party I’m going to next week (hosted by Billy Crystal’s older brother Joel)
— Shouts and Murmurs piece; very Woody Allen-esque (will steer clear of scandal)

Philadelphia Magazine
— Why the Cheesesteak is the Best Sandwich in America

New York Magazine
— Why Pastrami on Rye is the Best Sandwich in America

New Orleans Magazine
— Why the Po Boy is the Best Sandwich in America

Chicago Reader
— Lunchtime thinkpiece: Why I’ll Take Deep Dish Pizza Over A Sandwich Any Day of the Week

Gawker
— an article that’s written by the commenters but commented on by the staff members
— James Franco!

Jezebel
— thinkpiece on how Lena Dunham is single-handedly saving television

Maxim
— Lena Dunham takedown*
— How a bad vajazzling damaged my penis*

BuzzFeed
— 20 things that only a freelance writer can understand*

Grantland
— an oral history of Michael Jordan’s time with the Washington Wizards
— an oral history of that time Manny Ramirez used the bathroom behind the Green Monster*
— an oral history of ARLI$$
— an oral history of oral histories

Golf Digest
— the 7 habits of highly effective putters

USA Today
— A feature on which podcasts celebrities listen to (please note that I have ins with Kevin Sorbo, Debra Messing and Verne Troyer)

* denotes ideas most likely to go viral