My Pending Freelance Pitches

Being a freelance writer is hard work. You’re required to juggle dozens of projects at a time. I thought I’d peel back the curtain a bit and let you see my current works in progress:

John2 The New York Times
— TRAVELOGUE: send me to Thailand with $5,000 and I’ll write about how I spent it
— what I found in my father’s attic after he died (timing TBD)
— an article that’s entirely made up of corrections*

The New Yorker
— Talk of the Town piece about this party I’m going to next week (hosted by Billy Crystal’s older brother Joel)
— Shouts and Murmurs piece; very Woody Allen-esque (will steer clear of scandal)

Philadelphia Magazine
— Why the Cheesesteak is the Best Sandwich in America

New York Magazine
— Why Pastrami on Rye is the Best Sandwich in America

New Orleans Magazine
— Why the Po Boy is the Best Sandwich in America

Chicago Reader
— Lunchtime thinkpiece: Why I’ll Take Deep Dish Pizza Over A Sandwich Any Day of the Week

— an article that’s written by the commenters but commented on by the staff members
— James Franco!

— thinkpiece on how Lena Dunham is single-handedly saving television

— Lena Dunham takedown*
— How a bad vajazzling damaged my penis*

— 20 things that only a freelance writer can understand*

— an oral history of Michael Jordan’s time with the Washington Wizards
— an oral history of that time Manny Ramirez used the bathroom behind the Green Monster*
— an oral history of ARLI$$
— an oral history of oral histories

Golf Digest
— the 7 habits of highly effective putters

USA Today
— A feature on which podcasts celebrities listen to (please note that I have ins with Kevin Sorbo, Debra Messing and Verne Troyer)

* denotes ideas most likely to go viral