We’re An American Bar

If you’re a real American, you’ll be at Drinky Poo’s this weekend!

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Still Missing

My friend and collaborator Nick Klinger is still missing, as initially reported last week. Fortunately, there’s a breakthrough in the case. Authorities have asked me to circulate the poster below, featuring our main suspect. If you have any information about him or his whereabouts, please let me know. We’re offering a reward of a $25 gift certificate to Applebee’s (expires 12/31/2014).

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I Need Your Help

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John here. I haven’t heard from my friend and collaborator Nick Klinger in almost a week, and I’m very concerned. This is the last known photo taken of him. If we can figure out who signed that card he’s holding, I think we might be able to figure out who has kidnapped him. Please tweet us @johnundnick if you have any information.

College Hoodie Season

We didn’t have any content ready for our usual Wednesday slot, so our good friend James Deegler offered to step up and write something for us. He last guest hosted the site in 2013. Take it away, James!

I love the Fall for its cool weather, as it allows me to break out my extensive collection of college hoodies. Now, I’ve never actually attended college. In fact, I’ve never left the city of Philadelphia. I managed to amass this collection courtesy of my Uncle Chuck, who would always send me these little gifts from his work trips. He was a university development consultant, and he’d never leave a campus without popping a hoodie and a note about the school to me in the mail.

As a tribute to him, I thought I’d share some of my favorites from the collection:

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From Orgasm University. Purchased in July 2006.

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From Asshole U. Purchased September 2009.

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From Illuminati State University. Purchased earlier this year, shortly before his sudden and unexpected demise.

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From Douche Community College. Purchased in August 2012.

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From Virgin Christian University. (Fun fact: this is his ex-wife Aunt MaryAnne’s alma mater.) Purchased in December 2004.

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From the University of No Homo. Purchased in April 2010.

If you see me walking the streets in one of these hoodies, feel free to give me a honk and a wave. It’s what Uncle Chuck would’ve wanted. That, and a drink.

James Deegler is the owner of the razor blade boutique A Cut Above at 4th and Sansom in Philadelphia.