Spiritual Danger Ahead

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWe’re once again offering our usual Wednesday post to Reverend Randy Dodge of Saint Brayden’s. Take it away, Father!

I’m writing today about an urgent issue that’s quickly overtaking our beautiful little town of Romer, PA. My main concern is that many of our parishioners and citizens don’t see what’s happening to the spirituality of our area.

In recent months, Romer has witnessed an explosion in the construction of places of worship. While religion is by no means a competition, I am concerned that these hip and trendy religious communities are actually fly-by-night organizations hoping to attract donations before fleeing town.

Remember that Saint Brayden’s (established 2011) is the only church in Romer to have lasted more than 6 months. That’s not an accident. We simply provide the best service and services in the area. Yes, we’ve been accused of intimidating other religious organizations, but such falsehoods are bound to spread amidst a small, vocal, and utterly wrong minority.

With all that being said, I’d like to list the new parishes that you should not attend, or else I’ll have you excommunicated from St. Brayden’s Parish:

  • The Church of Christ, Biologist
  • The Church of Christ, Journalist
  • The Church of Christ, Nutritionist
  • The Church of Christ, Bassist
  • The Church of Christ, Gastroenterologist
  • The Church of Christ, Meteorologist
  • The Church of Christ, Cosmetologist
  • The Church of Christ, Acupuncturist
  • The Church of Christ, Horticulturist
  • The Church of Christ, Scientologist
  • The Church of Christ, Ventriloquist
  • The Church of Christ, Abortionist

Thank you for respecting the wishes of the church. Our brand is in dire need of protection.

Sincerely,

Rev. Randy Dodge
Chief Ecclesiastical Officer
St. Brayden’s Parish

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