Has anyone ever noticed that Best Buy has the worst return policy ever? I tried to return my 2011 Vizio TV there yesterday after accidentally chucking my Wiimote into the screen. They refused to replace it OR fix it! What the hell, Best Buy? I guess your Geek Squad isn’t so smart after all. I’m taking all future business to HHGregg.
The Bacon Funeral Home once again sponsors JohnAndNick.com.
There’s no sugar coating our disappointment. “The Breakfast Menu” will not be debuting today. In fact, we’re done setting a timetable for its premiere. By doing so, we’re only giving false expectations to our readers, and that’s not fair to you.
“The Breakfast Menu” is a one-of-a-kind comedy piece, and, as such, it has truly unique demands that cannot be properly explained here without spoiling the entire concept. “The Breakfast Menu” is more than just a post; it’s an experience. And our experience currently needs a bit more attention before we pull back the curtain.
We promise we’ll have an update for you relatively soon. This is not a project we will delay until 2016. You’ll see it this year. And it’s going to rock your socks off.
John & Nick
Clue was one of our favorite childhood board games. While we’re nostalgic for the original edition, it’s clear that this classic is in need of an update. We have some ideas, and hope that Parker Brothers will contact us about implementing them.
The current characters are simple, but boring. Why does the green piece need to be called Reverend Green? Jazz it up:
- Miss Fleek
- Professor Yolo
- Colonel Emoji
- Reverend Ratchet
- Mrs. Twerk
- Dr. Swag
There’s a nice variety here, but again, they’re all dated. We have a contemporary vision that will capture this generation’s imaginations:
- Bath Salts
- iPhone 6 Plus
- Sham Wow
- Vape Pen
- Selfie Stick
Mansions may still be relevant, but do you think Kim Kardashian has a Conservatory? She doesn’t. Here’s what the rooms will look like in a modernized edition of Clue:
- Dining Room
- Whiskey Bar
- Real World Confessional
- Wine Cellar
- 20-Car Garage
- Sex Dungeon
- Bowling Alley
- Home Movie Theater
- In-ground Pool
These updated roles, items and settings provide a lot of fun new combinations as players try to solve the case. “Professor Yolo in the Sex Dungeon with the Bath Salts” has a much better ring to it than “Mrs. White in the Lounge with the Rope,” don’t you think?
We’re thrilled to announce our first-ever endorsement for president! After careful consideration, we’ve decided to back former Fox News host Mike Huckabee for the position. Why? Well, Mike isn’t just a politician; he’s a musician and an artist. We think he’ll make for the best candidate to support struggling artists like us.
We’d like to start off by apologizing to any reader visiting this site and expecting the launch of “The Breakfast Menu.” The good news is that the project is still very much alive, and certainly set to shake up the comedy world. Unfortunately, such a shake-up won’t occur today.
We’ve had to delay the project by two weeks due to some unforeseen technical difficulties. While this is both incredibly disappointing and upsetting, it’s also an opportunity to make this project as good as we want it to be.
In short, any disappointment you feel today will be stripped away tenfold when we debut “The Breakfast Menu” on June 24 at 11 am. Get your spoons out, folks.
Yummy in your tummy,
John & Nick
PREVIOUSLY: Announcing “The Breakfast Menu”
We’re excited to announce a new project set to debut next week. It’s called “The Breakfast Menu.” We don’t want to spoil it too much, but let’s just say it’s the most ambitious, provocative and startling project that will ever appear on this web site.
We’ll leave words like “legendary” and “game-changing” to our readers and critics, but this is a potentially legendary and game-changing project.
“The Breakfast Menu” launches on June 10th at 11 am. Get your forks and knives ready!
John & Nick
Starting today, the content advertorial company Tabbouloo will begin sponsoring JohnAndNick.com. We felt the need to introduce this sponsor in our own words because it will change the face of advertising here on the site.
While we’re still accepting traditional sponsors — you know, the ones who place their pictures and brands on the site — we’re also incorporating Tabbouloo’s ads into our space. Tabbouloo brings great new content to your attention at the bottom of our posts. Thus, when you finish reading an entry, you can click through to other great material from across the Internet.
This is hardly even sponsorship. All Tabbouloo is trying to sell you is some fantastic articles, plus whatever ads may or may not appear with that outside content.
If you’re at all confused, please see a sample Tabbouloo spot below. You’ll begin seeing them on future posts here at the site soon!