Legalese

3_lawyer“The Breakfast Menu: The Forgotten Plates” has been shelved, effective immediately.

We can’t go into too much detail, but suffice to say that we sold much more than we bargained for when unloading TheBreakfastMenu.com domain.

If you’re interested in finding out what “The Breakfast Menu” is all about, we’re afraid we’re no longer legally allowed to speak about the project. You’ll have to direct all inquiries to Thomas & Phranklin, the legal representatives of Romer Food Corp.

Thanks to everyone for their interest in the project.

All full,
John & Nick

PREVIOUSLY: It Is Risen

It Is Risen

jesus_resurrected_tombHere are three words you haven’t seen in a while: “The Breakfast Menu.”

We know what you’re thinking: isn’t that project dead? Well, yes. It is. And we would never go back on a declaration like that. What’s done is done.

BUT, we’re happy to announce “The Breakfast Menu: The Forgotten Plates,” set to release in Q3 this year. “The Breakfast Menu: The Forgotten Plates” is a collection of all of the behind-the-scenes work that went into the world’s greatest undiscovered comedy project.

You want access to our personal e-mails? You got it. Recordings of our phone calls with our design studio and investor? All yours. Do you want to see the very checks we received? Done and done.

All of that and more will be available for purchase. While our research and development team says we can sell this set for $99.99, we’re prepared to offer it for a mere $74.99.

Pre-order information will be available soon. Watch this space!

More pie please,
John & Nick

PREVIOUSLY: Sunsetting

Sunsetting

Sunset_2007-1Apparently, you can fly too close to the sun. Our angel investor’s check bounced.

As it turns out, Johnny Omelette is not a real person. He’s a creation of our old buddy Fat Dom. We typically love Dominic’s skewed sense of humor, but this definitely stepped over the line.

What does this mean for “The Breakfast Menu”? We’re putting it into permanent hibernation. Sure, we could ditch the social network component and debut a fetching piece of comedy that would grab the attention of the world’s Judd Apatows and Dane Cooks. But that wouldn’t be fair to the folks out there who view our posts as promises. We’re not going to deliver a crippled experience. We simply won’t deliver any experience at all.

That way, no one gets hurt.

Thanks for everyone’s love, support and attention these past few months. It’s been one wild ride.

Finally, if anyone would like to buy the domain TheBreakfastMenu.com, please contact us with an offer.

You got chocolate in our peanut butter,
John & Nick

PREVIOUSLY: We’re Back, Baby!

We’re Back, Baby!

angelinvester

Glory be to the father! “The Breakfast Menu” has risen from the dead.

That’s right, folks. An angel investor has swooped down from the heavens and carried us back toward the sun. “The Breakfast Menu” is back on track.

More soon.

Seconds please,
John & Nick

PREVIOUSLY: Rest In Peace

Rest In Peace

main-qimg-93acc79f44dba4b7c18b8a64febbc7feWe regret to inform you that “The Breakfast Menu” is dead.

We didn’t want to make this announcement. Unfortunately, our hand has been forced. We were unable to secure any investments in the project. Devin Chopin has tainted it. No one can see the vision.

We’d like to thank all of our readers for their support. We’re sorry we couldn’t deliver on the hybrid comedy piece/social network that the 21st century desperately needs.

Check please,
John & Nick

PREVIOUSLY: Chopin Out

Chopin Out

Mr.-Monopoly-brokeBrief update, folks: Devin Chopin has not returned our calls in 10 days. We learned this morning that he’s gone bankrupt after a series of disastrous investments.

Rest assured, “The Breakfast Menu” is not one of those disasters. We’re going to seek out new funding immediately, and hope to have the project out soon.

Protein up,
John & Nick

PREVIOUSLY: Let’s Get Social

Let’s Get Social

Social-Network-Stock-Photo“The Breakfast Menu” is coming soon.

Today, though, we’re happy to announce that thanks to the connections made through our investor, Devin Chopin, “The Breakfast Menu” will now also be a social network. In other words, you’ll get all of the same great comedy we’ve been planning for this revolutionary piece of art … with the ability to chat and share content with your friends. It’s like comments, but better! It’s like Facebook plus MySpace plus Google+ … but better!

Back soon with more to satiate your hunger.

Chomp chomp,
John & Nick

PREVIOUSLY: We’ve Found Our Investor

We’ve Found Our Investor

Black LogoBlack and white, black and white! Mighty zebras, fight fight fight! Stand together, dominate. Mighty zebras, O-B-GREAT!

What’s got us so proud of O’Brien University this morning? Well, we’ve found our investor — Devin Chopin, a Mighty Zebra from OBU’s Class of 2002.

Devin’s a big fan of the site, having followed our growth through the various updates we’ve submitted to the OBU newsletter. Given our mutual love of comedy and our alma mater, his cash and our brains were a natural match.

Most importantly, though, Devin sees the vision behind “The Breakfast Menu.” He’s on-board for what we’re planning, and giving us his full support. He’s allowing us full creative control, and won’t be providing any editorial input. “The Breakfast Menu” that debuts on this site is the same one we announced back on June 3rd.

We’re thrilled to serve you this exceptional dish. Open your mouths and get ready.

Wag those tongues,
John & Nick

PREVIOUSLY: Update on “The Breakfast Menu”

Update on “The Breakfast Menu”

updateHere’s the good news about the site and the status of “The Breakfast Menu”: we’ve found a design studio that has the appropriate accoutrement for “The Breakfast Menu,” and the future of JohnAndNick.com. In fact, they’re one and the same. As we’ll detail in a press release later this year, JohnAndNick.com is becoming TheBreakfastMenu.com. The project is consuming this entire site, and for the better.

The bad news? We don’t yet have funding to fulfill our bold new direction. While many of you have already come out of the woodwork to say that you want to support us and the site, we don’t want your money. We want JohnAndNick.com/TheBreakfastMenu.com to be free for all.

Thus, we’re beginning to meet with venture capitalists in Silicon Valley. We’re hoping to secure funding in time to still debut “The Breakfast Menu” in 2015. We’ll check in with an update once we’ve made such a connection.

Cock-a-doodle-doo,
John and Nick

PREVIOUSLY: About Yesterday

About Yesterday

PastFuture_iStockYou’re probably wondering where “The Breakfast Menu” is. We launched the project yesterday, only to learn that the experience was simply too much for the site and its framework. Yes, folks, you’re reading that correctly: “The Breakfast Menu” is so intense and revolutionary that it broke our web site. That image with an X is not the project; it’s our site collapsing under its power and breadth.

What does this mean for “The Breakfast Menu”? It means that we have to either compromise on the project, or re-build the entire site. The former choice would be the easy way out, but it’s clear that “The Breakfast Menu” deserves much more than the easy way out. It demands the best from us, and from you.

We’re currently receiving bids for a total overhaul of our web site’s design and content management system. We’ll be back soon with exciting news about our future, as well as when we anticipate being able to properly show you “The Breakfast Menu.”

Order’s up,
John and Nick

PREVIOUSLY: The Breakfast Menu